


Just a Dreamer

by amazon_river



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Christmas, I Don't Even Know, Long-Distance Relationship, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unhappy Ending, i just wanted to add some extra angst lmao, me and him are on good terms irl, the ending is kinda rushed rip, this is a true story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:02:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21588079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazon_river/pseuds/amazon_river
Summary: The ending is kinda rushed rip. Hope y'all enjoy.
Relationships: me/my ex
Kudos: 2





	Just a Dreamer

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is kinda rushed rip. Hope y'all enjoy.

The road is slippery with a thin sheet of ice. The sky is dark and twinkling with stars, and the snow on the ground is dimly lit by the soft orange glow of the street lamps. I’m in the approximate area, but I’m not sure exactly which house is his. I pull over to the side of the road, and with shaking hands I pull out my phone and text him.

**what’s your exact address???**

My heart is pounding, I’m going to see him any second. 

**uhhh idk lemme check**

I roll my eyes with a smile, this is typical. I set my phone down in my lap and look back up, heartbeat in my throat. My anxiety in this moment is crushing me, but in a good way, if that makes sense. My pulse is too fast, my heart is threatening to burst out of my chest any second. My hands are shaking, so much so that when I see the boy I’ve been waiting to see again for years, whom I’ve been texting and FaceTiming daily dart out of a house a few doors down, I’m almost unable to turn the ignition key.

My excitement overflows, I can feel it pouring out of my ears. It’s as if I was hanging upside-down, all the blood suddenly rushing to my head, threatening to explode. I wrench the driver’s door open and slam it back shut, the noise drawing his attention. His face lights up, and in the unflattering orange glow, he’s never looked so beautiful.

I run towards him, almost slipping on the icy street, but suddenly we’re crashing together, time seeming to skip. I think nothing of it, and we embrace so tightly I think we’ve accidentally glued ourselves together. The cold air is nothing compared to the warmth that his body gives off, transferring to mine. My arms are wrapped snug around his neck, and his around my torso. He uses our momentum to spin us around, but there’s too much of it and we fall back into a snowbank. It cushions our fall, and we land side by side, still just as tightly embraced. My face is tucked into his hair, and his the same. Without the need to support ourselves, our legs tangled together. We’re suspended in time it seems, until mother nature brings us back into reality.

“Hey River?” he says into my hair. It feels so good to hear his voice in person, I could start crying, it feels too good to be true. Instead, I somehow manage to grip onto him tighter.

“Yeah?” My voice comes out in almost a squeak, elegantly cracking in just that one syllable.

“Can we go inside? My shirt’s getting wet.” He laughs, and I laugh too, now noticing that mine is the same.

I’m reluctant to let go of him, but I’m able to hold onto his hand as we stand back up. Once upright, I embrace him again, and with a laugh he says, “C’mon, we can do this inside,” but he wraps his arms around me nonetheless.

Once we start shivering, we reluctantly pull apart just enough to be able to walk, our hands never disconnecting. It happens again, time skips, and we’re at the doorstep. He pulls me into the house, and as soon as we stepped into the threshold I immediately felt the change in temperature, welcoming the stifling heat.

He shut the door, then turned back to face me. Now out of the frigid cold, I truly get a chance to look at him. His nose is pink, and his cheeks are flushed, and his hair is out of place, most likely my doing. He looks just as I remember him, even though it's been a year.

His lips are chapped to hell, and there’s blood on them from his constant worrying of them. His eyes have bags under them, evidence of his habit of staying up into the ungodly hours of the night. His arms have old and new scratches on him, gifted by his cats, and his nails are still as unsightly as ever, the lengths varying from barely there to half an inch long. However, all these things are what I love about him. I love that his nails are never the same length, I love that he stays up late to text me, I love that he treats his cats as if they were his own children. Although, he could do with learning the wonders of chapstick. 

With this thought, I come back to reality, the smile on my face pulling my lips and cracking them, causing them to bleed slightly. I think maybe I shouldn’t be judging him for his lack of chapstick, seeing as I’m the same. I bring my finger to my lips, bringing back a tiny bit of blood. Strangely, it doesn't hurt. I look up to catch him looking up from my lips to my eyes, and am blessed with the sight of a blush creeping its way up to his ears. My smile gets a bit wider, and embarrassed, he looks away.

“C’mon,” he says, leading me further into the house, “Do you want a snack?” I nod yes because I’m not too sure I can trust my voice right now. He leads me into the kitchen and opens the fridge.

“There’s not a whole lot, my mom hasn’t been home in a couple days, so-” He starts to explain the contents of the fridge, but I’m not interested. I’ve spotted my target. It sits on the counter, unassuming and absolutely desirable.

I make my way over to the bag of leftover Halloween candy, immediately picking out the fun-size Snicker bars. He catches me just before I can begin stuffing my pockets full.

“Hey, you can’t eat those, you’ll get sick, dummy,” he playfully reminds me, but I am fully aware of the consequences. I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions, and I am fully prepared to consume these bars of misery. However, before I can open one, he sneaks up behind me and plucks it out of my hand. Just as I’m about to complain, he replaces it with a banana laffy taffy, my favorite candy that I can eat without pain. I look up at him with a growing smile on my face, and he’s smiling back at me. The moment is soft, my love for this boy is surely exploding out of my every orifice in bright fireworks of color.

He grabs my hand and says, “I’ve got a whole bag upstairs, come on.” He leads me out of the kitchen and up the stairs, where I know his room is. I’m wondering if it’s clean or not, and I spied a silver tail slink around the corner where the door to his bedroom is. I immediately know what it is.

_“Casper!” _I exclaim, knowing this cat like the back of my hand, despite never having met him in real life. I race around the corner, into his room, and suddenly I’m hit with that fact that I’m actually here, in his house, in his bedroom, about to pet his cat and lay on the giant Costco teddy bear his mom didn’t explicitly tell him not to buy, but definitely wasn’t thrilled about when she found out. I feel him come up behind me, and he slides past me into the room. He grabs my hand and tugs me forward, a small smile on his face.__

__“Sleepy?” he asks, and yeah, I am. We make our way over to his bed, and he sits, pulling me down next to him. Our hands are still intertwined, and he lays down, using the giant bear as a pillow. I follow him down, and we face each other. He kicks his feet up to pull the duvet far up enough to reach, then he grabs it and tugs it over us. Our legs tangled together under the sheets, and we’re close enough to share our body heat. Our hands and arms are twisted together between us, and he’s holding my hands in his and gently stroking my knuckles with his thumb. We’re looking at each other, and as cheesy as it sounds, I’m lost in the mystery that is his eye color. Right now, they’re steel blue, shining, and his pupils are dilated; I’m sure mine are the same. The lights are still on, but it’s okay, I can see him better this way._ _

__He kisses my knuckles, and whispers, _“Goodnight,” _just like we used to when we shared a room so long ago._ _ __

__

__

___“Goodnight,” _I whisper back, and we close our eyes, wrapped up in each other, and fall asleep._ _ __

__

__

__

__The next time I open my eyes, it’s to my dad standing at my bedside with a cup in one hand and a small capsule in the other._ _

__“Come on River, take your meds.” I'm immediately confused, this is wrong. I’m supposed to be in Wisconsin, wrapped up in his arms and petting his cat, not in California, laying in my own bed, my dad coming in to give me my meds._ _

__“River, it’s time to get up, take your meds.” I sit up, eyebrows furrowed, slowly coming to the realization as I reach for the pill and the cup._ _

__I’ve never been to Wisconsin, I’ve never even been to that half of the country. He hasn't messaged me in months, his last text to me dismissive and final. I swallow the pill along with the lump in my throat, and bury myself back down in my own blankets, in my own bed, in my own house._ _

__“Get up soon,” my dad says as he leaves and shuts the door. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to bring myself back to that house, to that room, to that boy. But he’s unattainable, and I’m just a dreamer._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Lolololol this actually happened to me so I decided to write it out. I took some creative liberties so it's not 100% accurate to my dream but it's pretty damn close.


End file.
